GLUTEN IS MY BITCH

I was eating dinner at an upscale restaurant in New York City when I noticed that my innocent order of asparagus had breadcrumbs baked right into it's melted cheese topping.  Who the hell puts breadcrumbs on a vegetable dish? The only reason I'm ordering a vegetable dish in New York City is because I can't eat anything else. 

After dinner we went to look for dessert in an indoor farmers market. As I was trying to keep my food down, my eldest cousin, who also suffers from similar food intolerances, showed me the greatest book I've ever seen. Gluten Is My Bitch: Rants, Recipes, And Ridiculousness For The Gluten Free was then packaged in a brown paper bag, handed to me, and accompanied me into the bathroom once those breadcrumbs got the best of me. This book and I, we've been through it all together. 

In all seriousness though, this book helped me make light of my celiac disease. Having a food intolerance is extremely exhausting, as it hinders your social life, your dating life, and even your schooling. But, April Peveteaux writes with an honesty and a hilarity that allows new and old celiac patients to feel relieved that we're all experiencing the same things together. This book helped me learn how to laugh at my disease, and allowed me to fall in love with new kinds of foods. It also taught me to marry someone that excites me more than food does. To be honest, that's more valuable to me than any lesson or lecture I've ever attended.
Thank you, Gluten Is My Bitch. 

P.S. 'What To Do When You're Crapping Your Pants' is a published chapter in this book, typed in really nice cursive writing, so if that's not an indicator that this book is a best seller, I don't know what is.